CL

As I look down at the baby asleep while I write this, I still can’t believe the direction that my life has taken. I’m thankful everyday that Paxon is so healthy and I have the opportunity to be in Seattle while he’s growing up.

He’s already over 9 lbs. I know, I know. Some babies start out that way, but he’s more than doubled his birth weight. I love watching him grow. People say “stay little” all the time when speaking about their children, but I’m always here rooting for Pax to reach the next pound and for more firsts to happen for him. At the same time, I do want to slow down time in case I never get to experience a little baby again.

Over this last month I’ve got to experience a whole lot: circumcision, vaccinations, pooping up his entire back and smiles that are finally not caused by passing gas. When he left the hospital he was having to take baths with a swaddle blanket on him just because he was so small and got cold so easily. Now Pax doesn’t need to be wrapped up and he lives for bath time, but thinks that I’m the mortal enemy when I have to take him out and make him cold by putting lotion on him. He has the smallest goosebumps I’ve ever seen.

There’s worry that I’m going to spoil him, but I firmly believe you can’t spoil a baby this small. Every book I’ve read backed by science and psychology says a baby that feels love will grow to be a more confident toddler. I also know a difference between his hungry cry and fake cry. I talk to my mom every day and she says being a “on call mom” as she calls it is what made me and my brothers good babies.

We’ve just begun our adventure in Seattle. He’s sleeping longer hours with Micah around. I love the little moments Paxon has with his dad and I look forward to so many more. I can’t thank him enough for getting us here. I also can’t thank my parents and his parents enough for all knowledge, care and help they’ve given me in this situation.

Not to pat myself on the back too hard… but I think I’ve done a pretty damn good job myself. You always just have to keep moving forward.